


Look At Me

by Nickie



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional And Physical Tension, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prince!Sanji, Slow Burn, guard!zoro, palace intrigues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-11-05 14:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickie/pseuds/Nickie
Summary: Prince Sanji doesn't understand why his private guard, Zoro, avoids looking at him. And his confusion only deepens when he realises how unsure his position in the palace is becoming.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick disclaimer that English isn't my first language so I apologise for possible mistakes uwu

„Your Highness?”

Sanji blinks his eyes and looks up at the old man staring at him questionably with a soft hint of worry. He’s been so deeply in thought that he didn’t notice when his teacher has grown silent, indicating the end of their lesson. Sanji smiles, rather sheepish, and nods gently at the old man.

“Thank you. We will finish here for today” Sanji speaks in a gentle voice, although his hands are squeezing each other tightly on top of the books spread over the wooden table. He can’t believe that he didn’t hear half of what his teacher had to say because of the thoughts that keep invading his mind almost every day. Sanji can’t let himself behave this way; he is a prince and when he takes over the kingdom he wants to do it as best as he can. History lessons should be his priority right now, not those thoughts…

The old teacher stands up and bows deeply in front of Sanji before taking his leave, passing by a man standing at the door. The prince lets his eyes follow the teacher’s back before they stop on the guard’s profile, his posture not moving an inch like a statue. His hand rests comfortably against the handle of one of his katanas, fingers playing mindlessly with a red and white strings tied around it. Sanji hisses silently and looks down at his hands, realising that he’s been squeezing his hands together so tightly that he broke the skin with a fingernail. But when he looks up to his guard, thinking that the sound of pain would bring his attention, he finds the man completely unfazed, staring into the distance with the same, emotionless face. The prince isn’t surprised that he’s been balling his fists all this time – he wants to punch that man.

Sanji doesn’t even bother to announce that he is leaving, the guard will follow him everywhere anyway. They’ve been inseparable like this since Sanji turned ten and his father noticed the boy’s curiosity could be deadly. The king decided to assign him a private guard, who also taught him a thing or two about defence.

“You seemed very interested in today’s lecture, Your Highness” the guard talks as they walk down the hallway, and Sanji can’t help but shoot a glare towards the man, which of course goes unnoticed. His guard isn’t even looking his way.

“How can you know that, Zoro? You never pay attention” ‘to me’ Sanji wants to add but instead only snorts. He finds it amusing and irritating at the same time, that the private guard, whose job is to protect him, never even looks at him. He understands that Zoro, being a highly-skilled warrior, can predict many things with his other senses, but why doesn’t he act like a normal human being and check on him with his own two eyes?

Sanji assumes he knows the answer to that question. As they walk down the hallway, many servants bow their heads as low as they can without losing balance. It’s an unspoken rule inside the palace that they shouldn’t be looking directly at the prince. If you ask Sanji, he finds it ridiculous, but he never really questioned it since it’s been all he’s ever known inside the walls of the royal quarters. But Zoro was different. Even before he became the royal guard, he used to play with Sanji between his trainings. They basically grew up together and not much changed when Zoro turned seventeen and attained his title as the private guard of the crown prince. To Sanji it mostly meant that he got to spend even more time with Zoro and they were almost inseparable. But one day it all changed and the prince still can’t put his finger on what it was. And it unnerves him to no end.

“I’ve heard the old man repeating himself at least three times. If Your Highness paid enough attention, you would have noticed it as well” the smirk on Zoro’s face is challenging, but it misses the playfulness Sanji is used to see. Zoro has always been teasing him since he was a kid but it wasn’t the same anymore. The prince sometimes wondered if maybe it was all because they matured but it still didn’t make sense to him. And he is too proud to ask.

Sanji decides to simply ignore Zoro’s remark and enters his bedroom. He’s developing a headache because of all those thoughts and worries so he decides he needs a warm bath to relax and finally forget about the guard. Why is it even so important to him that Zoro stopped looking at him? His job is to protect him and as long as he fulfils it then that’s what matters, right?

“Bring me hot water, please” Sanji asks one of the servants politely, always treating the people around the palace with good manners, especially women. The fact that he is above them in hierarchy doesn’t mean he can treat them badly and he always acts according to that self-set rule.

Zoro glances briefly at the girl walking away to fetch hot water before peeking inside the prince’s bedroom. Sanji is standing with his back facing him, looking outside the window at the sparkling water of a stream running under the wooden bridge placed right in the centre of the royal gardens. A fond smile appears on Zoro’s lips when he remembers how Sanji tripped once and fell into the water with a big cry. The prince cries easily but he won’t let anyone see that anymore. Zoro needs to remind himself that Sanji is eighteen years old already and times changed. _They_ changed.

The guard looks away before the prince can realise he’s been staring at his back while reminiscing the old times. Four women come with big pails of hot water and pass by Zoro before entering the bathroom and pouring the water into the bath, getting everything ready for their prince with just the right amount of scented oils. One of the young servants places the towels near the tub while the others check the temperature of water and soon they are scurrying away, bowing at the politely smiling Sanji. The prince slides through the door separating the bathroom from the bedroom and then closes it, a sign for Zoro to enter the bedroom and rest closer to the blond. The door and walls between them are very thin and Zoro can see the silhouette of Sanji undressing himself before lowering himself into the water.

Sanji’s bathing time is usually filled with silence, occasionally broken by splashes of water or clinks of Zoro’s katanas when he changes positions. The royal guard prefers to stay closer to the bathroom door and not outside the room like usual because he can better assess if everything is fine with the prince. There’s been cases of people drowning in baths because they dozed off or lost consciousness and Zoro isn’t taking any risks. He feels calmer when he can hear the water splashing and dripping, giving away the fact that Sanji is indeed alive. It is also one of those moments when he can let his body relax against the paper wall, still alert but almost lulled to sleep by the peacefulness of it all.

Inside the bathroom Sanji moves his hands slowly over his arms and legs, eyes glued to the dark spot that is Zoro’s body on the other side of the wall. He almost rolls his eyes at the irony; didn’t he decide to take a bath to unwind and stop his thoughts from focusing on the guard? His body slides down along the tub until his chin dips into the water. Sanji tries to pull together all of the events with a clear head. He and Zoro has been close since he could remember. The green mop of hair is in almost every of his memories. At first, he thought that maybe Zoro tried to act more professional when he became the royal guard and that’s why he decided to follow the unspoken rule that everyone in the palace knows – not looking the monarch in the eye. But that can’t be the case, Sanji comes to the conclusion when shaking his head in the water. Zoro’s never been the one to obey rules and it didn’t change when he first started following Sanji around as his protector. It started probably somewhere around a year ago.

Sanji furrows his brow, thinking carefully. Maybe he did or said something that caused that bizarre change to occur in Zoro. But the more Sanji thinks, the less he understands. Does Zoro know something and keeps it away from him? Did he have a talk with the king about proper etiquette (Sanji doubts it; his father knew from the very beginning what type of person Zoro is)? Or maybe one of the servants told him to change his behaviour?

“Shit...” Sanji grumbles into the water, creating tiny bubbles.

“Your Highness?” Zoro sounds indifferent on the other side, which only annoys the prince more.

“I’m alright” he hisses with more venom than intended. He really needs to just go to sleep and stop overthinking.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Sanji decides to busy himself in the enormous library. Zoro isn’t happy when the prince tells him to go and rest for about two hours when he’s studying the books and assures him that he is safe in broad daylight in the middle of the palace. Opportunities like this one don’t appear too often though – as a private guard Zoro has to be alert day and night, so in the end he decides to take a nap.

Lately Sanji spends more time in the library, apart from his lessons. He studies the heavy annals and chronicles, population censuses and more, searching for one particular information. Sanji isn’t sure if he even has enough data to know what he’s looking for but he’s a stubborn individual and doesn’t know when to give up. Minutes pass and the pile of books and papers grows next to him at an alarming rate. He feels like, despite all this time, he is back to square one with his hands empty. Why is it so difficult to track down a particular person? Considering the fact that he knows nothing about them, other than the fact that they are related to him, it shouldn’t be surprising. Nevertheless, it leaves Sanji’s mind tired and heart heavy. How much he wishes to finally find his-

“Maybe we should go outside, Your Highness”

Sanji raises his head, just now realising that he’s been keeping it buried in his hands all this time while worrying about yet another thing. He really needs to stop adding more and more problems to the list. Zoro isn’t looking at him but Sanji notices him standing in the door, facing the way out.

“Yes, I think I need some fresh air...” a tired sigh leaves Sanji’s lips as he heaves himself up, a bit sorry that he’s leaving a mess after himself but he really can’t bother himself now with putting everything back in its place. Another sigh escapes him when he walks next to Zoro towards their usual spot – the one where they usually train or simply relax.

“What are you studying so intensely, if I may ask, Your Highness?” Zoro’s voice is a little bit rough after his nap. Sanji glances at him and is of course met with an indifferent expression. Zoro used to laugh so much when they were younger…

“History of the palace” the prince lies easily, surprising even himself. He is no advocate of lying but being a royalty taught him that sometimes you have no other choice.

“Huh? History of the palace?” Zoro’s eyebrow cocks upwards and for a second he forgets about official language around the prince. “That’s new” a snort bounces off the walls as they leave the building and start marching towards the lake. The rest of their walk is silent, broken only by Zoro adjusting his swords from time to time with gentle clanks. The evening sky turns from bright blue to orange gradually, pulling Sanji into a comfortable embrace that he didn’t know he needed this badly. Their usual spot by the lake is empty, with a big tree standing proudly just at shore, its long branches grazing the water on the wind. There is a makeshift swing hanging from one of the branches, one that brings a tender smile to Sanji’s face. Damn, they have so many memories together with Zoro, he thinks when remembering the day the older boy proudly presented the swing to the prince.

“I will train for a while, is that alright, Your Highness?” Zoro asks, although he is already getting ready and unsheathing his katanas. Sanji nods absent-mindedly. He likes training with Zoro, but today both of them know that Sanji is too tired for this. Both physically and mentally. So instead he sits down at the tree, pressing his back against the bark as if leaning on an old friend. The water is sparkling with the last sunrays when the prince drags his gaze over the lake until it stops on Zoro.

He’s breathtaking. Sanji blushes at the high points of his cheeks at the sudden thought but it’s not surprising to him. Even though their status in a hierarchical world put him above the royal guard, Sanji’s always looked up to Zoro. He’s always been the older one, the stronger one, he’s always known how to get them out of trouble. As they grew older together, Sanji realised that he admired Zoro not only for his skills or quick thinking. With time he started liking the outcomes of said skills – the muscles that were the effect of constant training or the cheeky grin that he wore every time he pulled them out of the most ridiculous troubles.

Sanji quickly averts his gaze and instead lies down on the grass to look up at the sky, hopefully avoiding the embarrassment of Zoro catching his red cheeks. Well, he wouldn’t even notice, Sanji remarks bitterly in his head, still not over the fact that his guard won’t honour him with as much as a glimpse. He’s too tired though to dwell on that topic for much longer so he closes his eyes to rest.

When Zoro finishes his training and washes himself quickly in the lake, it’s already dark. He wants to call out to the prince and when he looks in the general direction of the tree, he notices that Sanji is lying down in complete silence. An eyebrow shoots up his forehead as he moves closer before a soft smile slips onto his face at the sight of the sleeping man. In moments like those Zoro can let himself cheat a bit and look at the prince’s face. After sitting down with silence befitting the role of a guard, Zoro scoots closer to take a better look. Sanji’s skin is pale and mostly unblemished, thanks to all the hours he spends bathing in oils and whatnot. Zoro really doesn’t understand how Sanji can sit through the sweet flowery scent but it’s probably part of his duties as a prince. He must look like a non-human, a perfect ruler with not a speck on him. Zoro is glad that he can at least “steal” Sanji sometimes for their training sessions. It gives him a brief nostalgic feeling, as if things have never changed.

 _But they did_ , Zoro scowls and almost growls to himself at the thought. His body plops down next to Sanji’s with a thump, successfully waking him up with a jolt. For a second the prince can’t tell where he is and what happened before he glances down at Zoro who is currently stretching his hands over his head in his reclined position.

“I fell asleep?” Sanji brushes the dirt off the back of his head when sitting up and then glances at the blackness of the sky. Soon his confusion gets replaced with a warm feeling inside his chest. “Remember how we used to sleep in the open air?”

Sanji doesn’t expect Zoro to answer. Most often, if not always, their conversations are more like monologues, especially when it comes to talks about their past experiences. Zoro is a man of few words, but it still doesn’t explain why he avoids such talks. So Sanji is more than surprised when after a few minutes of star-gazing he hears the low voice next to him.

“Yeah… You always ended up sick afterwards, Your Highness” Zoro’s gaze doesn’t leave the dark sky when Sanji turns to look at him, but the prince notices that the colour of his eyes got warmer at the memory. He himself smiles and even chuckles, amused that Zoro remembered that. It feels good to talk _with_ Zoro, not only _to_ Zoro.

“I guess being caged between the palace walls all my life didn’t prepare me for cold nights outside, huh?”

It’s silent again but this time it’s not as heavy as usual and Sanji is more than pleased; finally they are not acting like total strangers. He focuses on the sky again, adoring the perfect view of stars thanks to the cloudless weather. The moon is very bright and round, almost in its full phase. It’s casting a white glow onto the lake, illuminating the place dimly and putting hearts at ease. Sanji yanks out a blade of grass before placing it in his mouth to nibble on it. It’s a habit he picked up as a kid already and he really couldn’t get rid of it.

“Hey… Do you think all the dead people become stars after death or they just continue living on the moon?” Sanji asks suddenly with his voice soft but serious. His gaze moves between the blinking stars and the moon. Zoro lets out an amused, low snicker.

“What’s up with that topic suddenly?” the guard drops the honorifics when hearing such an absurd thing leaving the prince’s lips. The other man laughs flustered and scratches his cheek, trying to hide the embarrassment, but Zoro still catches a glimpse since Sanji’s eyes are glued to the night sky.

“You’re right, you’re right. Maybe I’m just tired. Probably when I die I will look down at everyone as a star and laugh about it” Sanji laughs wholeheartedly and Zoro can’t take his eyes off of the prince now when the other is laughing. He’s so glad that Sanji is too busy staring at the sky to notice that Zoro is in fact staring at him. As the words echo inside his head, the guard almost shakes his head in disbelief. To him, Sanji already shines brighter than any of the stars. If anything, he would be _the moon_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't really tell how long the story will be, i have the main plot points set out but i still need to write stuff in between them uwu i think probably around ten chapters! anyway, i really hope you enjoy it so far! tell me what you think *u*


	2. Chapter 2

“Zoro”

The guard turns around to look behind himself when the sounds of rushed steps and clinking swords reach his ears. The king’s huge posture appears, with two guards following suit. Zoro bows his head when greeting the king, wondering what brought him to this part of the palace.

“Your Highness” as Zoro straightens himself back up, the king is already in front of him. The prince’s guard has never considered himself small or weak, he’s actually pretty satisfied with the way his body looks after all the training he’s pushing himself through almost every day. But no one makes him feel tiny like the king. Every time Zoro is in his presence he feels like an ant not only because of the king’s aura of power, but also his literal size. The look on his face though doesn’t really fit that mighty posture.

“Is Sanji alright?” king Zeff asks, his long blond moustache moving as he speaks. Zoro’s eyes narrow at the strange question. Sure, he isn’t around the prince right now but he was just on his way to the library after a short nap Sanji insisted he took.

“I believe so, Your Highness. He’s safe in the palace” Zoro’s eyebrow rises up even higher when the king bends over so he can lower his voice for only Zoro to hear.

“No, I mean alright… overall” king Zeff makes a face and waves his hand at the guards, shooing them away. He starts walking the opposite way and Zoro follows suit politely. “I have a feeling he’s been quieter these days. And I’ve noticed he’s studying more.”

Zoro nods thoughtfully. Yes, he noticed that too, the fact that Sanji isn’t as talkative as he used to, but Zoro didn’t give it much thought since he was the one who drew a line between them in the first place. And he’s not going to dwell on it now either, especially not in the king’s presence.

“He’s a diligent student, Your Highness. He wants to be a good king in the future” the guard answers eloquently, but king Zeff shakes his head while his two fingers play with the long blond moustache.

“I hope he’s not getting himself into trouble”

“Trouble?” Zoro’s even more confused now.

“Well, I know I’m not his real father so maybe that’s why I can’t tell what’s wrong, but please keep an eye on him, alright, Zoro?” the king’s big palm pats Zoro on the shoulder before he calls the guards over and they leave the confused, bowing Zoro in the middle of the hallway.

It’s no secret that Sanji isn’t Zeff’s real son. Even the prince himself knows about it and he’s alright with it. Since he was crowned, king Zeff tried for a baby for years. He’s been visited by doctors from around the world, tried different medicines and herbs and even changed his partners regularly but no matter what he couldn’t conceive an heir. That was when he rewrote the law and made it possible for himself to adopt a son as if he was of royal blood. Since he was the king, no one dared to oppose.

Zoro’s head is full of what-ifs when he is walking towards the library. His face is twisted in a scowl, different from his usual expression of indifference bordering on boredom. Whatever’s going on right now, there’s a high probability that Sanji will keep it to himself and away from the guard. Their relationship is reasonably different from when they would share secrets at their usual spot by the lake. Zoro wishes he could change it, but it’s difficult to do so without getting close to the crown prince.

When Zoro reaches the library, Sanji is hunched over the table, his index finger moving over the script as his eyes are following it. The creases in his forehead are deep and for all Zoro knows he looks like he could cry in frustration that’s seeping out of his body. His neck muscles are taut, jaw clenched and breathing heavy. Zoro takes a step inside the library to ask the man about the scrolls but Sanji senses his presence and quickly pushes everything away into the corner before raising his gaze.

“Your Highness” Zoro bows his head before their eyes can meet. Sanji’s gaze is tired, eyes red when they focus on his private guard’s green hair.

“I guess I overdid it for today, right?” Sanji lets out a chuckle but it’s dry and humourless. Zoro only grunts and straightens himself, trying to peek at the books and documents strewn over the table. “I need to stretch my limbs. Care for a bit of training?”

The private guard doesn’t feel like it’s a good idea because the moment Sanji stands up, his legs are shaking and it takes the prince a second to gain back his balance. He won’t argue with the prince though. Zoro knows how stubborn the man is and if he doesn’t go training with him then he will go on his own. And Zoro, as his private guard, would have to follow him anyway. So it’s way easier to just agree.

Their walk is silent as usual, but it’s definitely slower. Sanji’s pace is slowed down by his aching lower back. Bending over the table for hours wasn’t his brightest idea but a few stretching moves should be enough to untangle his knotted muscles. And hopefully clear his mind as well. He realizes he needs it quite a lot lately.

Zoro prepares the swords in silence when Sanji sits down and reaches for his toes, letting out a loud sigh of relief when his back pops just the right way. And even though Zoro is not the talkative one and it’s because of him that they are silent most of the times, his curiosity gets the better of him.

“You’re really diligent with your studies lately, Your Highness” he starts, running a piece of cloth over one of the katanas with utmost carefulness. Sanji stands up and moves hands over his head, not showing much emotion on his face.

“It’s important to learn about politics if I’m to rule in the future” he answers when staring off at the forest far away from their spot. Zoro’s brow furrows and he stops his movements altogether.

“I thought you were studying history, Your Highness”

The tension rises when Sanji lets out a sound, some kind of a yelp before rubbing his arm as if he pulled a muscle from overstretching. Zoro knows him too well for that kind of trick to work. He stays put though, with a katana still resting in his hands, head bowed over it.

“Aren’t those connected? Are you interrogating me or what?” Sanji wants to act indignant, but his voice gives him away with the way it’s shaking. His fists tighten and his jaw clenches once more. A second longer and he’s going to burst but Zoro is already getting up from the grass and handing the prince one of the katanas.

“Position” he simply orders and Sanji takes a deep breath in. As a future king he really needs to grasp his emotions better than that. He shouldn’t be affected, but it’s so much different with Zoro.

Pushing the thoughts away, Sanji closes his eyes and takes the right position before opening his eyes again and watching Zoro for further instructions. The other man bends his knees a bit before raising the katana slightly, indicating Sanji to do the same. The first blow is predictable and the prince repels it easily. The second and third one are stronger, almost angry, even though Zoro’s face shows nothing. Sanji stands the ground and withstands all the attacks with measured moves before trying to take a hit himself. Zoro is faster though and takes a step back and to the side before hitting the other man’s back with his elbow, successfully throwing him down onto the ground.

“Focus” is all Zoro says and Sanji grows frustrated. He gets up from the ground quickly, not caring about dusting off his clothes. Sanji stares at Zoro with a tight face and of course the guard isn’t looking at him directly which only fuels the prince’s frustration more. A small shout vibrates in his throat when he charges at Zoro, bends down in the last second and aims at his legs but his opponent jumps up at the right moment, only to land on top of Sanji’s katana when landing. Zoro’s weight pulls him forward suddenly and he’s on the ground once more.

“What are you doing?” Zoro steps off of Sanji’s katana and takes a few steps away. Sanji feels so humiliated. He’s been training with Zoro for years and it’s the first time he can’t control his body to this extent. Squeezing his eyes shut when he feels them getting itchy in irritation, Sanji pulls himself up and calms down his uneven breath. He’s not going to give Zoro this sick satisfaction. He’s not letting him play this game, whatever it is. Zoro’s never acted like that during their training sessions. What is his point this time?

“Again” comes Zoro’s simple command and this time Sanji decides to think more like his guard. He bends down again as if he is aiming for the man’s legs again but in the last second he lets his body twirl around the man to attack him from behind. A smirk of triumph brightens Sanji’s face when he hears his katana whizzing and cutting the air. Zoro is faster though and blocks the attack before raising his leg and kicking Sanji in the chest, pushing him down easily with a silent thump.

“You’re not focused-”

“Shut up!” Sanji screams, rolling his body around and curling himself on the grass, squeezing some green blades in his hands. This time he’s not even trying to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, all the frustration and loss building up to the point of breakage. Zoro simply looks at the prince’s hunched back moving up and down with his ragged breaths. “Shut the hell up!”

Sanji’s fists hit the ground helplessly as he screams, silent at first but it’s getting louder and louder until his voice gives up. His eyes hurt from being squeezed shut this tightly, head throbbing painfully as the sobs keep shaking his body. There’s a hand on his back and at first he flinches but the touch is so sure and reassuring that he welcomes it quickly. Zoro doesn’t say anything, only moves his fingers up and down the prince’s silky clothing. Just as he predicted, Sanji wasn’t eager to talk to him and it was the only other thing he could think of. Pushing the prince to his limits isn’t his proudest achievement. But the most important thing to Zoro is that Sanji finally let all those bottled up emotions and insecurities out, even if he doesn’t tell the guard about them. He’s not pushing him away, which is already an approval of its own.

 

* * *

 

They didn’t talk about it afterwards. Days passed and Sanji still spent most of his time burrowed in scripts and rolls of paper but he seemed less stressed out after this particular training session with Zoro. The prince hadn’t realized earlier just how much there was hidden inside of him, how much he’d kept inside, how many words he’d swallowed back just because he was a prince and that’s what was expected of him. But Zoro didn’t judge. After he was done crying the guard acted like he didn’t see a thing and Sanji was thankful for that.

“I really need to get my hair cut, it’s getting into my eyes” Sanji blows air up to move his bangs away, proving his point. Zoro only snickers at his side, glancing briefly at the blond, silky strands on top of the prince’s head.

“If you wish, I can cut it off with my katana, Your Highness” a smirk stretches itself on the guard’s face while his hand already reaches towards the handle of his trusty weapon.

“I care for my head, thank you” Sanji bites back with a silent scoff. He noticed that their conversations were a bit less awkward and more like they used to be before Zoro decided to play along the palace rules and stopped looking at the prince.

“What- Are you implying anything, Your Highness?” Zoro stops, ready to prove that he can, in fact, change Sanji’s hairstyle easily with his sword-fighting skills. His katana can cut paper on the wind so why wouldn’t it work on hair as well? But before their little quarrel can continue, a servant approaches them while bowing his head.

“Your Highness!”

Sanji turns towards the man and tilts his head curiously.

“What is it?”

Zoro cocks his eyebrow curiously as well. The servant is panting, as if rushing here with the most important message.

“The king is holding a gathering in the throne room!” the servant explains hurriedly. “His Highness wishes to see you there too! It’s important!”

The servant bows deeply once more and disappears as soon as he appeared. Zoro scratches the back of his head with his brow furrowed. Usually the king announces such gatherings much earlier, so the guests can get ready and arrive on time. What could be this important?

“Let’s go then” Sanji shrugs, as confused as his private guard. His father enjoys organising parties and spending time with his people but this didn’t sound like another banquet. And Sanji can’t tell if he’s more curious or scared.

When they arrive at the throne room, there is already a huge crowd moving around. There are ministers, scholars, servants and subjects walking around the place, whispering to each other excitedly. It’s only understandable that such a sudden meeting is going to evoke such strong emotions. Sanji and Zoro look at the people for a second longer before walking towards the throne. The king is still not here so Sanji plops down on his place and Zoro stands at his side, scanning the room carefully. As much as he feels relaxed around the palace and even lets himself joke around with the prince, this is where his job gets more serious. Sanji glances at the man standing at his side like a statue, hand readied on the handle of his katana and eyes sharp. He must admit that in moments like this one, when Zoro gets ready to kill, he finds the man oddly attractive.

“My people!” Zeff’s voice bellows when he enters the room, accompanied by his own guards and a woman. Sanji furrows his brow for a second but quickly smooths any creases on his face. The king walks towards the throne and his smile only widens at the sight of the prince. “My son” he adds in a softer tone, patting Sanji’s blond hair. Usually the younger man would swat his hand away but he has to endure his father’s antics with so many people around. Zeff finally sits down and the whole room gets quiet, the only thing buzzing is everyone’s excitement.

“I gathered you all here to announce something unusual! A miracle happened!” the king claps his hands together, the sound bouncing around the huge hall. Sanji grows more and more anxious with every passing second. Why is his father this excited? He’s never seen him like that. He’s rather grumpy and annoying. What caused this sudden change?

“After years of trying and failures...” king Zeff glances at the woman next to him and squeezes her hand. Sanji assumes it’s yet another one of his lovers. His father wasn’t really constant in his affections. If the woman wasn’t able to give him a child, he usually searched for another one. It’s not a big deal in Sanji’s eyes, his father is just like that. But then, does it mean that the king found the true love after all this time? Are they going to have a queen finally? Sanji notices the gentleness in his father’s touch on the woman’s hand and wonders if his predictions are true.

“Your king is going to be a father! Finally!”

Shouts of excitement echo around the throne hall. People throw themselves into each others’ arms, laugh and talk eagerly amongst themselves. The king is shaking with laughter and pride on his throne. That’s the reaction he’s been hoping for when finally breaking the news.

But Sanji can only stare in the distance, his whole body unmoving. Fingers of his hands tighten around the armrests of his chair, turning white from the force. He can hear his heart thumping in his ears, all other sounds drown out. Zoro glances briefly at the prince, sensing his uneasiness easily even from the distance. When the others are laughing and dancing in joy, his body is trembling. Because the words of his father weren’t a merry surprise to him like to others. To him, it sounded like a death sentence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really having a lot of fun writing zosan stories uwu i hope you guys enjoy this and my other works too! ♥ let me know what you think *u*


	3. Chapter 3

The king throws a huge party to celebrate the exciting news of a new royal family member on the way. A long table is set out in the throne room, its legs nearly bending from the amount of food and golden cutlery on top of it. People chat excitedly, raising their wine glasses up every now and then with toasts. It’s loud and merry but Sanji feels like he’s deaf. He can only move the food around his plate, sure that if he put anything in his mouth he would throw up instantly. His father keeps laughing at his side, talking with the ministers that keep taking turns in congratulating the king. Sanji doesn’t raise his gaze, scared that if he does his will to strangle the closest happy person would consume him. Zoro stays at his side all the time, peeking at the tensed shoulders of the prince from his spot behind the chair. He eats a bit but never sits down – busy events like this one are perfect for attacks so he needs to keep his eyes open and hands ready all the time.

“Excuse me” Sanji mumbles to no one in particular because Zeff is too busy entertaining yet another minister and complimenting his new lover. The prince glances briefly her way and widens his eyes when their gazes meet. She’s beautiful, even Sanji has to admit that, but there’s just something unsettling in her eyes and Sanji escapes from her heavy stare as soon as possible. He walks outside to the terrace and takes a deep breath, finally able to use his lungs fully. Zoro steps outside right after the prince and slides the door shut behind them.

“Is everything alright, Your Highness?” the guard asks but keeps his distance, knowing Sanji needs it now like nothing else. His whole body is trembling and he gulps down the air like a fish out of the water. Zoro can feel the panic oozing from the prince even at the distance, but he doesn’t step closer unless Sanji asks him to.

“I… need a second” Sanji mumbles after a while and drops his prince-like demeanour when sitting down on the wooden ground of the terrace. His fingers keep moving through his hair nervously, sometimes getting tangled in between the locks.

Why is he reacting like that? Sanji should be happy for his father, he should be happy at the thought of a little brother or sister. He’s been quite lonely as a single child and Zoro was his only companion all this time. Wouldn’t it be great if he had a sibling finally? Sanji lets out a deep sigh and squeezes his eyes shut. It’s not his father or the kid he’s worried about. It’s the newest mistress that sowed the seeds of panic inside his heart. He’s positive that she will do everything for her kid to become the future king. Sanji doesn’t care about his position this much, but since his father changed the law years ago to be able to adopt him as a legitimate royal family member, no matter what, he is the crown prince and the first one to take over the throne after his father. He became an obstacle on this woman’s path to power and one look from her confirmed all of his assumptions. It’s a woman that won’t hesitate.

Sanji turns around when he hears heavy steps and the door slides open, revealing the king. Zoro moves to the side with a soft bow of his head and stays close enough to be able to protect Sanji, but far away to not eavesdrop. If the prince wants to talk about it later, he will listen to everything.

King Zeff walks closer to his son and sits down next to him, not caring about his silk robes at the moment, just like the prince. It’s silent between them for a while until the older man places his big hand on Sanji’s knee.

“Sanji, is everything alright?” his tone is completely different from the one in the throne room. Gone are the excitement and pride, replaced with genuine concern. The prince keeps his gaze low, not looking up at his father. He’s afraid he will notice his eyes getting wetter. “I’m sorry if what I said hurt you. You know you are my son, right?” the palm on Sanji’s knee squeezes it and the prince nods because of course he knows that. The king never let him feel any less of a royal family member because he was adopted. He loved his father like a real one and treated him as one too. “I’m just overwhelmed with the news. Looks like your old man still has it, huh?”

The prince can’t help but snort at the comment. He finally raises his gaze and looks at his father with a smile, not fully reaching his eyes though. King Zeff removes his hand from his son’s knee and instead pats his cheek gently.

“Nothing will change between us. You will always be my son” the man assures Sanji and the other smiles more honestly at those words. “And please, give Fujiko a chance. You don’t have to treat her like your mother, but please don’t write her off just like that”

Sanji’s smile falters at the sound of the woman’s name. Fujiko. Now when the face gets a name the reality dawns on him even stronger than before but he decides he’s not going to be an additional weight to his father. So he nods and lets the king hug him briefly before the older man is getting up and joining the party once more. Sanji sighs and rubs his cheek with a hand before turning to Zoro.

“I think I will go back to my room”

“As you wish, Your Highness” Zoro joins Sanji at the door and they walk slowly, the prince’s mind still clouded with anxiety. His private guard keeps stealing glances of him but doesn’t do anything. The prince must be embarrassed that Zoro saw him breaking down a lot these days when he always acts so brave and stubborn. So the guard doesn’t push this time and lets Sanji decide whether he wants to open up to him or not.

“I will probably go to sleep. Take a nap too” Sanji suggests when he’s about to close the door and Zoro nods. The prince stands there a bit longer, weighing pros and cons of talking to Zoro before he closes the door in the end, keeping the guard out of his room and his worries.

He doesn’t sleep much that night. Whenever Sanji closes his eyes, he sees Fujiko’s piercing gaze, so innocent that it leaves goosebumps on his skin. This sight keeps morphing into nightmares over the span of next days and Sanji turns and shifts in his bed every night, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as if he could get rid of the images this way. Zoro notices the bags under the prince’s eyes but Sanji waves him off every time. He tries to busy himself with his research but the writing doubles in front of his sight when he tries to read. He tries to persuade himself that nothing bad will happen, that he just has to trust his father’s words and give Fujiko a chance. Sanji hates himself for those horrible thoughts but he thinks that maybe she will miscarry. Or give birth to a dead baby. Maybe she will deliver a girl and all of Sanji’s worries will fade away instantly.

When another night comes, Sanji finds himself trembling in his sheets, eyes wide awake and wet. He doesn’t understand why he’s this terrified. It’s only been a month but he feels like he’s aged ten years and slept a blink in that period of time. He hasn’t seen Fujiko or his father since the party because they’ve been travelling around the kingdom with the great news. Sanji assumes Fujiko can be sporting a rounder appearance already, he doesn’t really know how far along she is in her pregnancy. The mere thought though forces his body to curl up into a ball, as if he himself was a fetus in his mother’s stomach. With time, he somehow manages to fall asleep in this position, but the nightmares begin quickly. He sees Fujiko above himself, holding a little baby in her arms and a knife in the other. She stabs him countlessly in his body and he wants to move or scream but he’s numb all over. Zoro. Where is Zoro?

“Zoro!” he sits up panting, sweat rolling down his temple and gluing hair to his forehead. His private guard barges into the room in a trice, wielding his katana in the air carefully. Zoro looks at Sanji briefly before lowering his weapon when seeing no one else in the room.

“Your Highness…?” Zoro’s voice is a cautious whisper. Sanji keeps staring at some point in front of himself like a lifeless doll, save for his irregular breathing. Zoro places his katana back in its sheath before taking slow steps towards the prince. When he’s close enough, he kneels down next to the bed and very gently touches Sanji’s hand. The other flinches and wakes up from his trance, just now realising that Zoro is here. He looks down at the guard’s fingers on his hand and he squeezes them without a second thought.

“I’m so scared, Zoro… So scared...” Sanji rasps and Zoro holds his hand back tightly, reassuring the prince that he’s right here.

“You’re safe with me” Zoro assures him and uses his other hand to gently push Sanji into a reclined position. Sanji doesn’t protest much but he keeps squeezing Zoro’s hand in a death grip. The guard studies the blond man’s appearance from the corner of his eye and gently pats his chest. Sanji’s eyes are closed in exhaustion but his lower lip keeps trembling. He’s so sickeningly pale, with dark bags under his eyes and eyelashes wet with unshed tears. Zoro doesn’t move away until Sanji’s breath evens out somehow. “You’re safe with me” the guard repeats himself, much quieter this time, hoping that Sanji can fall asleep if he’s by his side. Sure enough, soon Sanji’s breathing more regularly and his brow smooths out. Zoro moves his hand away from the prince’s chest but keeps holding his hand with the other nonetheless.

Zoro lets himself look at the prince’s face more openly now when he’s asleep. He can’t tell what’s going on through Sanji’s head but he’s also not a complete idiot. Something’s been wrong for a while and when the king announced that Sanji’s going to have a sibling, the prince lost it. Zoro moves some strands away from Sanji’s eyes, allowing himself to forget about the stupid etiquette under those circumstances. He even uses his own sleeve to gently pat away the sweat from the prince’s face, hoping to ease his pain at least like that. The need to protect Sanji only doubles at the sight of the man so fragile and scared. And Zoro vows that he will do so not only as a guard, but as a friend too.

 

* * *

 

Sanji doesn’t want to admit it to himself or anyone else but when he realises how much Zoro’s direct presence calms him down, he asks the guard to spend nights inside his room with a hot face. The private guard accepts it like any other order, although he knows stepping over the threshold into Sanji’s room is like crossing a border in their relationship as well. They don’t do anything disreputable behind the closed door; Zoro stays close to Sanji’s bed and holds his hand if needed when the young prince wakes up from yet another nightmare. His sleeping habits improve considerably, at least to the point that he gets to sleep for a few hours every night. Zoro tries to act like the whole thing doesn’t affect him in the slightest, but his ears get red anyway when he notices one day that the servants put a pillow for him next to the bed after somehow finding out about their new system.

If it was terrible before for Sanji to not see his father’s new lover, now he’s glad to not have her around. With time he was able to forget her face and even if she appears in his dreams, her appearance is blurred and not as scary anymore. His father writes a letter to him once, informing him that they’ve met many physicians offering to take care of Fujiko throughout her pregnancy to ensure a safe delivery. Sanji puts the letter between some others, not wanting to go back to it any soon.

When Sanji leaves the bathroom attached to his room, Zoro is already seated crosslegged on top of his big cushion. The prince steps across the room and slides into his bed, but doesn’t lie down yet. Zoro’s busy trying to tie the small strings back to his katana’s handle after he untied them out of boredom. Sanji watches him for a while, piecing his thoughts together before speaking aloud.

“I think I overreacted” he starts and Zoro hums, letting the prince know that he’s listening even though his fingers keep fumbling with the strings. “It doesn’t make sense, right? My father wouldn’t trust a dangerous woman”

Zoro stops and puts the katana away before sitting up straight, hands neatly placed on top of his knees. Sanji studies him, wondering what Zoro’s view on the situation is.

“So you don’t trust our new queen, Your Highness” it’s more of a statement than a question and Sanji’s hands clench into fists on top of the sheets.

“She is _not_ a queen yet” he hisses out silently, the thought leaving him sick to the stomach. Zoro hums once more, not really intimidated by Sanji’s tone.

“Why?”

Sanji blinks and relaxes his tensed shoulders.

“Why what?”

“Why are you scared of her?” Zoro’s voice is full of concern that isn’t typical to him. But after encountering this many sleepless nights and awakening nightmares he’s grown really worried for the prince. Sanji only shakes his head and brings his knees closer to be able to embrace them and place his chin on top. He doesn’t answer the question and no matter how much Zoro wants to know the answer, he doesn’t push, like always. It’s still quite early and the setting sun casts an orange hue into the room. Sanji rubs his hands against each other slowly before mumbling.

“You will always protect me, yes?”

Zoro peeks to the side and notices Sanji isn’t looking his way. He lets out an affirmative grunt and looks away once more.

“Of course. It’s my duty”

“Would you do that if it wasn’t your duty?”

It’s unexpected and Zoro moves his gaze to Sanji again, still not meeting his eyes. It pains him to see the prince doubting everything and everyone over the course of those few weeks. He knows well that he’s been the one keeping a distance but now when the prince needs him, he can let himself loose just a bit. Court rules are one thing, but the prince’s well-being is more important than anything. Zoro turns around and reaches for Sanji’s hand, not looking at him not only because he is not supposed to, but because he’s too embarrassed to do so. Even if he sometimes holds the prince’s hands at night, none of them could be bothered enough to care when it’s right after Sanji wakes up from a nightmare. But it’s different now and Sanji is surprised too. He doesn’t reject the private guard’s hand though, instead lets him play with his fingers slowly and carefully, almost shyly, before intertwining them.

“Yes, I would. I would put my life on the line for you, Your Highness”

Sanji lets himself smile for the first time in weeks. It’s weak and doesn’t really reach his eyes but it’s there and Zoro’s chest doesn’t feel as heavy when he catches it from the corner of his eye.

“Do you believe me?” Zoro squeezes Sanji’s hand gently and the other answers with a soft nod when staring down at their interlocked fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like it uwu i think this story will be longer than expected, oops? :P


	4. Chapter 4

After yet another restless night, Sanji’s had enough. He was able to fall asleep in the end, thanks to Zoro’s help, but he doesn’t want to rely on his guard this much. As a prince, he feels obliged to be stronger than that, to be able to fight not enemies only, but his inner demons as well. And depending on Zoro is just too humiliating. That’s why, when he wakes up and looks at his royal guard sitting at the side of the bed as usual those days, his mind starts going through many different thoughts.

“Aren’t you bored most of the time?” is what he finally starts with and Zoro’s back straightens when he realises the prince is awake. He glances to the side briefly, indicating he’s listening.

“I meditate, Your Highness” Zoro answers and untangles his crossed legs to stretch them on the floor after hours of sitting in the same position. “I don’t really feel the time passing”

Sanji lies down on his back and lets out a soft sigh when staring at the ceiling above him. How much he wishes he could be like Zoro – strong and unbothered. His private guard has always been an admirable person in his eyes, someone he thrived to become. Sometimes he even wondered if Zoro would be a better prince than him. The people would love him, Sanji thinks to himself when an image of Zoro sitting on the throne pops up in his head.

“Can you teach me?” Sanji asks finally, his voice small and tentative. He turns his head to the side again, noticing that Zoro stopped stretching himself at his sudden request. “I want to be stronger, Zoro. Can you help me?”

A big smile appears on Zoro’s lips. He’s been waiting to hear that for days. He was so worried that Sanji wouldn’t be able to get better, that he would only get worse and weakness would envelope him day by day. So those words sound like the loveliest music to his ears. Both of them know it will take time, since it seems there’s a lot bottled up inside Sanji’s chest, but they will get there eventually.

“Of course, Your Highness. With pleasure”

 

* * *

 

When king Zeff and his dearest return to the palace, it’s busy and loud like the first time they made the announcement. Fujiko seems to be a bit rounder everywhere and she is giving off that maternal glow everyone always talks about. She is in the centre of everyone’s attention, sharing sweet smiles and offering explanations to anyone interested. However, Sanji’s staying on the side, his arms crossed as if he’s back to being a moody teenager. This whole act is so sickening to him and the fact that he’s the only one who seems to notice that only makes it worse. There’s no other person that wouldn’t like Fujiko. They all praise the king and tell him she would be amazing in the future as a queen of their land. ‘Why can’t they see?’ Sanji ponders, biting the inside of his cheek with his eyes still trained on the woman, ‘Am I wrong?’.

“Ah, Your Highness”

Sanji wakes up from his train of thoughts and realises Fujiko is walking closer to him. His whole body tenses instantly and he looks to his side at Zoro. His royal guard is close, but he’s busy bantering with two servants about something. Sanji understands, Zoro cannot keep everyone away from him, that’s not what his job is about. And Sanji was also the one who wanted to stop depending on the other man entirely. So instead of letting the panic overwhelm him, he takes a deep breath and pulls a neutral, almost friendly face.

“You can call me Sanji. I’m sure you don’t address my dad this officially either” he cocks one eyebrow up and Fujiko chuckles behind her hand like a real lady would. Her violet hair cascades in soft curls down her shoulders and chest and Sanji’s eyes travel briefly down to her stomach. She’s not really showing much yet.

“I do, in public. But I’m delighted you let me call you by your name” she speaks in a soft voice, her round face stretching in a warm smile. A lump forms in Sanji’s throat because the woman is perfect, a dream of most men. All of her movements are delicate and measured, her smiles soft and voice like honey. “We didn’t have a chance to meet before the announcement”

“I don’t really meet all of my father’s mistresses, he changes them so quickly”

“Oh”

When Sanji realises that he really just said that, his face gets red in embarrassment. He didn’t mean to let that slip, at least not when he barely started to talk with Fujiko. The woman looks genuinely shocked, with her lips parted softly and eyes rounder. Sanji opens his mouth to apologise but Fujiko covers her lips with a hand and giggles.

“You’re right. He’s not really constant in his affections, is he?” her giggle doesn’t die down and now it’s Sanji’s time to look at her with a surprised expression. Was he… wrong? She doesn’t seem like a bad person at all. She’s so well-mannered that she didn’t even let him apologise. A woman with a smile like this, making her eyes crinkle and turning her cheeks rosy, couldn’t be a demon his brain portrayed her as. “I hope I will be able to change that” she adds and Sanji actually smiles, feeling embarrassed and stupid now that he spent a whole month worrying over nothing, over some silly assumption based on nothing but his own fears. The prince scratches his chin shyly, too focused on Fujiko to realise Zoro has been observing the whole conversation with a furrowed brow.

“Sanji! I see you finally met my sweet Fujiko!” the king appears suddenly next to them, his chest swollen with pride while Fujiko shakes her head timidly. Sanji feels guilty towards his father for assuming the worst without even exchanging a word with his lover. The prince sees how much happiness the woman brought into the palace; everyone is smiling and talking heatedly about Fujiko and the baby, his father is acting like he’s at least twenty years younger, all smiles and loud laughters. Sanji can’t recall many moments when he could see the king like this and now it’s like everyday life all of a sudden.

Even though Sanji gained this new perspective, his nightmares wouldn’t give up so easily. He still sees Fujiko with a bloody, twisted grin stretching her face, a total opposite of her sweet round features. His mind depicts her as a monster, with sharp fangs and narrowed eyes. He’s even more tired because he’s not fighting with the nightmares only, but his mind now too. Sanji doesn’t want to think bad of her, doesn’t want to portray her as an evil creature. Not her, nor his father deserve that.

Every day he and Zoro go to their usual place by the lake to train in hopes of making Sanji stronger not only physically, but mentally too. The young prince assumes that if his body gets stronger, then his inner fight would get easier as well. Neither of them know if this logic makes any sense, but Zoro helps Sanji out as best as he can. He even forces the prince to not only improve his combat skills, but also his muscle strength. Sanji’s body screams for a break when he is lifting more and more, but he not once complains about it.

There is also another benefit that their training sessions bring. No matter if they practise in the morning or later in the day, Zoro does his best to tire the prince to the last drop. Thanks to that, Sanji is often so tired that he falls asleep immediately when his head hits the pillow. After their trainings, most often than not his body and mind are too tired to even consider creating nightmares. They sometimes still do come but they are not as burdensome as before. There are even times when Sanji drops to the ground, claiming he just needs to catch a breath before they leave, only to fall asleep on the spot.

Zoro cherishes those moments especially. During those times, he doesn’t have to act like a tough teacher anymore. Obviously, when Sanji wakes up the next day, Zoro complains for an act. But when he looks at Sanji sleeping in the grass, he automatically lets himself relax and soften as he sits down next to him. He takes his time looking at the prince, taking in his dirty face and matted hair. Nevertheless, Sanji is beautiful in Zoro’s eyes. The royal guard has spent so much time and energy to get this thought out of his head but it’s impossible when Sanji’s lips purse in his sleep. He has no will to fight it when the prince isn’t conscious to experience it so he lets it happen. Even if just for a second, Zoro lets his fingers rake through Sanji’s hair. Sometimes he cleans a particular smudge on his cheeks, sometimes wipes dirt from his nose. Zoro knows he would be damned, knows he’s already crossed so many lines in his relationship with the prince that if anyone found out he would be in trouble. Still, most of the times he doesn’t have a heart to wake the sleeping prince and instead carries him back to the palace in his arms, secretly peeking at him during the whole walk.

It’s another day of training and the evening is chilly. Sanji is resting with his feet dipped in the lake, enjoying the cold feeling after an hour of torturous weight lifting. Zoro is preparing the place for their sparring training in the meantime, wishing he would work up enough courage to tell Sanji that he is proud of how much he worked on his muscle strength today. All he can do though is watch the prince silently, studying how he’s moving his feet in and out of the water, creating tiny waves this way.

“Are you ready?” Zoro asks finally. He’s decided not to use honorifics outside of the palace some time ago, or else it would be troublesome to add ‘your highness’ anytime he wanted to comment on Sanji’s mistakes during their training. The blond prince turns his head Zoro’s way and nods. A quick pull of his arms and he is up on his feet again, standing in front of his royal guard. His eyes widen a bit when the other man throws the sword to him before they both start their fight. Sanji’s grown much more familiar with this weapon and he doesn’t rely on his strength purely. Anytime Zoro moves, his brain tries to come up with his possible next step and best counter attack. Their sparring times go rather smoothly most of the times, but today Sanji finds an annoying hindrance literally obstructing him.

“This hair is driving me crazy!” his voice raises in volume as he blows the bangs out of his face for the nth time this day. Zoro stops and tilts his head curiously while the prince is busy ruffling his blond hair. “It’s too long. I need to get it cut quickly” Sanji’s katana drops to the ground, his fingers stubbornly brushing the bangs and tucking them behind his ears without success. Zoro can only stare because the sight is quite endearing even to a guard like him, with an emotionless image.

“I can cut it for you, like I said earlier” Zoro speaks softly when collecting Sanji’s sword and putting it away. “Sit down and I will do it”

Sanji thinks for a bit but in the end takes his place on the ground, his legs crossed. Zoro kneels down in front of him and then sits down on his heels comfortably, a katana still in his hand. Most of the people would find it scary to let anyone with such a sharp weapon any close to their face but this thought doesn’t even cross Sanji’s head. He trusts Zoro with his life, so he’s sure he wouldn’t cut him in the slightest.

On the other hand, Zoro is nervous. He stares down at the moon reflecting on his sword’s blade, realising he is letting himself go too much. He is too comfortable with their closeness, with the way their relationship shifts in the direction he promised to never go to.

“Close your eyes” the private guard hums and Sanji blinks confused. “So no hair gets into your eyes”

“Oh, right” Sanji lets himself smile and does as he’s told, letting his eyelids close. Zoro reaches for the first strand and with a measured slide of his blade cuts it with ease. As he takes another piece of blond hair, he notices just how intimate the whole situation is. The prince is right in front of him, his eyes closed and his expression calm. With every next chunk of hair landing on the grass, Zoro’s hands shake more and more. It’s ironic how he is the one teaching Sanji about physical and emotional control when the one who is out of it at the moment is him.

After a while Zoro shuffles to the back and gently rakes his fingers through Sanji’s hair. It’s silky soft and looks like pure, liquid gold spilling into his palm. Even Sanji’s locks have a royal twist to them like that, suggesting he is not a human being at all. And Zoro can’t deny just how beautiful this halo of gold hair makes Sanji look. And the fact that he can touch it, even under the pretext of cutting it, is utterly nerve-wracking to Zoro. The need to collect himself rings in his head soon anyway and he gathers some hair in his fingers again before chopping it down carefully.

“It’s getting onto your clothes” Zoro notices and gets ready to cut another part when Sanji turns his head gently, trying to look at his guard.

“Yes?” it’s silent then and when Zoro picks up a sound of Sanji untying his clothes a bit later, his heart stops beating as he holds his breath. The upper part of Sanji’s silky robes slides down his shoulders and pools around his hips on the ground. The need of air sobers Zoro up somewhat, but he is still unable to move. It’s not the first time he’s seeing the prince’s naked back, but if it happened, the circumstance were vastly different. There’s only two of them now, taking care of Sanji’s hair, with the moon as their only companion. It’s so private, so intimate and full of unspoken tension. If he knew any better, Zoro would excuse the prince and run, but he is glued to his spot and taking the risk when his fingertips brush another strand of hair away from the others.

Sanji shivers at the contact and closes his eyes. He can easily blame the chilly weather for that but decides not to. He can _feel_ how equally tense Zoro is behind him and he assumes it’s not because he’s so concentrated on cutting his hair well. Every swipe of fingers through his hair elicits a barely audible sigh from his lips. Zoro takes his sweet time and Sanji feels he’s about to burst any second. With another slice of Zoro’s katana, some hair falls softly onto Sanji’s pale shoulder. The green-haired man blows it off and Sanji’s whole body trembles at the contact. God, if it wasn’t for all this self-control training over the years, Zoro’s sure he would lose it in that moment. Every time he swipes a lock off of Sanji’s skin, it’s covered in goosebumps and the prince lets out such sweet noises. This amount of intimacy with the prince is strictly unlawful for a guard. And Zoro pushes the limits even farther when he’s done cutting, now letting his fingertips ghost over the skin of Sanji’s nape, barely making any contact. The prince’s head lolls to the side almost unnoticeably, exposing more of his neck, even more with his hair out of the way, and Zoro moves closer, his whole body trembling in anticipation. Sanji shudders too and raises his clothes up onto his shoulders abruptly when a stronger gust of wind hits his naked skin.

“I’m getting cold” he whispers, out of breath as if they just finished sparring. Neither of them moves though. The prince bites his lower lip when after what felt like hours he feels Zoro’s warmth escaping him. The guard stands up and cleans his blade, still drunk from their closeness just seconds ago.

“I’m done already”

The prince nods and fastens his clothes with a strap around his waist. His mind is still clouded and he’s sure that if he stands up now, he wouldn’t be able to maintain his balance. So instead he lets his fingers touch the back of his head, feeling the new hairstyle. It’s not much different, only shorter. Even the feeling of his hair ends prickling his fingertips is sending tiny sparks through his whole body at the memory of Zoro touching them. He doesn’t understand why he let himself fall this deep into the moment. He doesn’t understand why it evoked such intense reaction from him either. The conflicting attitude he gets from Zoro, who won’t even look him in the eye but touches him like delicate porcelain, only worsens the already existing mess in his head.

“I think we’re finished for today, right?” Sanji’s voice is still a whisper and Zoro hums affirmatively. Neither of them speaks a word after and the prince lies down in his bed with his back facing the guard, not able to look at him when the persistent flush wouldn’t leave his face. Zoro is grateful – he doesn’t want Sanji to notice his equally red ears either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we finally get some tension between the boys, but there's still a long way to go ;u; hope you liked it, let me know what you think, i looooove hearing from you! ♥


	5. Chapter 5

Zoro swings his sword at the young prince who raises his own wooden katana up but it drops from his hands as soon as the two blades collide. Sanji’s lower lip trembles and he furrows his brows in frustration. Ignoring the burning of his eyes, the prince bends down to pick up his weapon when Zoro places a sure foot on his back and pushes him onto the ground easily. Sanji yelps shortly in surprise, confused eyes searching for Zoro.

“You will be a shitty prince, and even a shittier king if you keep fighting like that!” Zoro’s chin is raised high and he looks down at Sanji in disapproval. The ten-year-old boy nods and pulls himself up on his hands, or at least tries to because the private guard’s foot keeps him flat on the grass.

“I understood! Let me stand up!” Sanji trashes himself like a fish out of the water, small fists hitting the ground in annoyance. Zoro’s gaze doesn’t leave him for a long while before he finally raises his foot and takes a step back, arms crossed over his chest. He is much taller than the prince, like any seventeen-year-old would be. There’s a groan coming from the blond boy when he pushes himself off the ground in the end and throws Zoro a look full of hate. The freshly-assigned private guard smirks, ready for an outburst from Sanji but the boy is silent, simply staring at Zoro with his blue eyes. It’s embarrassing to admit that a ten-year-old is making him feel intimidated but it’s the reality Zoro has to accept in that very moment. Even at such a young age, Sanji is able to compose himself before raising his sword, eyes shining with determination.

“Let’s try again”

 

* * *

 

 

Zoro opens his eyes calmly, letting the remnants of the dream fade away without rush. It’s been a long while since he dreamt about his teenage years. He doesn’t remember this exact scenario happening when he first started assisting Sanji as his royal guard, but he definitely remembers calling him a shitty prince and other nicknames many times. He can also recall how strong and determined Sanji’s always been. The prince rarely cried and picked himself up whenever he had fallen down.

Zoro was and still is in awe with the way Sanji deals with his weaknesses. This is a thing that definitely makes them different – Zoro isn’t a person to show others that he lacks something. Sure, he accepts his flaws and works on them, but he wouldn’t admit them easily, if at all. Most people would see this as a strength, but Zoro knows that the strong one from the two of them, in this particular case, is Sanji. Because he isn’t scared to appear vulnerable. Again, most would say this isn’t a desirable trait of a soon-to-be-king, and it actually pushed Sanji to bottle up his emotions once in a while, but he always overcame it.

That’s the reason why whenever Sanji turns to him for help, Zoro accepts it easily, his admiration for the prince growing. The real strength to the royal guard is dropping the mask of a perfect prince for the night so he can hold his hand and help him fight with the nightmares. So, when he wakes up, he’s ready to face his duties instead of self-loathing throughout the day.

The prince’s guard gets up from his regular spot in the kitchen where he usually takes his naps and navigates himself to the library, hoping to find Sanji there. His mind is still coming back to the dream, recalling small bits from their shared past. The memories bring a small, almost unnoticeable smile to his lips, but they also feel heavy at the pit of his stomach.

Much to Zoro’s surprise, the library is empty and clean, with no rolls of papers strewn around, which is a usual sight these days. He checks the bedroom too, but there’s no Sanji there either. Panicky is not a word to describe Zoro in this kind of situation, however a little red light switches on at the back of his mind. His steps are quicker when he walks along the corridors, peeking inside the kitchen once more, then the throne room and the study room. His hand is tight around the sword’s handle, ready to pull it out when he steps outside.

The fresh air hits Zoro’s face but it doesn’t stop him from walking briskly through the garden. The altar grows bigger the closer he gets, with a small cloud of smoke wafting out the entrance. The guard’s steps grow slower before he comes to a halt and lets out a small sigh of relief.

Sanji is sitting on his heels inside the altar, the incense’s smoke circling him around like a snake. With his eyes closed and concentrated face, he looks like he’s praying, but his hands are resting on his thighs. Zoro doesn’t want to interrupt the silent moment, no matter what it is, so he sits down near the entrance and lets himself cool down after the lookout. At least it served as a good stretch after his nap.

The fact that Zoro’s waiting for him at the entrance, isn’t much of a surprise for the prince when he leaves the altar. His guard was bound to find him sooner or later.

“Sorry I didn’t let you know I will be here. I see you found me anyway” a soft smile appears on Sanji’s face when he waves some remnants of the smoke away from his face. Zoro opens one eye, tempted to look at the prince, but focuses on his waving hand instead. He can feel that Sanji is bothered by something, and the small sigh he releases only proves him right. “Father asked me to go and meet with people. Need to check the population census and other administrative matters”

Zoro’s brow furrows as he stands up and dusts off his clothes. It’s unexpected for a king to send the crown prince to the town for administrative purposes, that’s usually the ministers' job. No matter what though, he is going to follow Sanji anywhere. Maybe he will learn more once they leave the palace grounds.

“Are we going alone, Your Highness?” Zoro’s eyes fix on a stable when he and the prince start walking across the garden paths.

“Yes” comes Sanji’s short response. Zoro notices he’s been tense since he woke up from the nap and his wrist is still set on the handle of his katana.

Once they reach the stables, Sanji asks a young servant to prepare two horses for them. He pats the neck of his trusty palomino mare with a golden coat and creamy white hair. Zoro peeks at the clear view of Sanji’s nape, bare with his newest haircut. It wasn’t his primal intention, but Zoro is proud that he cut it this short at the back.

“I hope we don’t bring too much attention” Sanji states when hopping onto his horse, Zoro following suit with his own mare. The private guard doesn’t stop himself from snorting.

“With your vividly dyed clothes and the horse matching your golden hair we would be spotted from another kingdom, Your Highness” it’s probably because of the dream that Zoro lets himself bicker with the prince more than ever. And he’s happy when he hears Sanji chuckle.

“Must have enjoyed your nap to have the energy for quibbles” Sanji glances at the man riding at his side and his shoulders relax visibly. No amount of time spent in the serenity of the altar compares to Zoro’s sole company. Especially when they pass through the main gates and leave the territory of the palace. It’s when Sanji looks back at the grandiose palace that he understands how much he missed freedom.

Zoro keeps stealing brief glances at the blond prince before he focuses on the road ahead.

“I dreamt about our childhood. Your childhood, to be precise” Zoro hums. Their age gap isn’t as striking as it was eight years ago. Back then Zoro sometimes felt like he was babysitting the prince, a thought typical to a rebelling teenager. However, right now the age difference is barely noticeable to the royal guard. They both matured and became closer over those eight years.

Sanji turns his head to Zoro, letting himself enjoy the view of his guard sitting tall and straight as a steel rod on the horse. If only Zoro wore different clothing, he could pass as a member of the royal family to any passer-by.

“It’s been a while, right?” a fond smile stretches Sanji’s lips but Zoro catches it not reaching his eyes, like any other smiles today. The green-haired man grunts in response anyway and loosens his hold on the reins. Memories pop up in his head one after another.

“You always wanted to hide in the kitchen, Your Highness. Thought you’re a glutton, turned out to be a cook wanna-be” Zoro shakes his head shortly. He could clearly see it like it was yesterday – little Sanji hiding behind cupboards even though he himself always refused to hide and the kitchen workers knew the prince was crouching somewhere next to Zoro who only huffed annoyed. The same image seems to successfully pull Sanji out of his worries for a second because he lets out a burst of honest laughter.

“It was far more interesting than the etiquette lessons” the prince glances at Zoro and his happiness dies down gradually when he doesn’t meet the guard’s eyes. If Zoro just told him what happened that changed their relationship so drastically… “Zoro, why did-”

Zoro gives the reins a sharp pull and stops his horse sideways in front of Sanji, blocking his way. The prince widens his eyes and holds his reins tighter as well. Something must have happened on the road ahead of them, so Sanji takes a peek over Zoro’s shoulder. There’s a group of people running their way, waving their hands and shouting.

“Your Highness! It’s prince Sanji!”

Sanji snorts and hops down from his horse, much to Zoro’s indignation. The voices are growing louder when the guard jumps down as well and props his hand on the handle of his katana.

“Knew your clothes are too flashy” he mumbles, eyes fixed on the group of people that is just a few steps away from them. Sanji throws Zoro a glare before putting on a bright smile and walking around the other man to greet the people. Zoro grumbles displeased; it shouldn’t surprise him after such a long time that Sanji doesn’t make his job any easier by ignoring his common sense. Ordinary villagers or not, the guard’s duty is to protect.

“Your Highness! To what do we owe this visit?” an old woman speaks first, keeping herself standing with the help of a wooden stick. Having stepped closer to the townspeople, Sanji bows his head at the woman and shows her his best charming smile.

“It’s a perfect day for a meeting, isn’t it, my lady?” the prince waves his hand in the general direction of the sky and the old woman chuckles, pleased to hear that. “Would you accompany me to the town?” Sanji offers his arm for the woman and she takes it gladly after giving her stick to one of her grandchildren. They all group around the two and the prince listens carefully to the old lady’s words, sometimes interrupted with a remark from someone else.

Zoro stares at the scene with his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed into tiny slits. He is confused with how many feelings are clouding his mind; from small tinges of jealousy through worry about the prince’s safety to irritation that he’s been left behind like that. With the horses' reins in one hand and his katana’s handle in the other, he follows the small overexcited group like a grumpy old man in the end. With no servant with them, he needs to act like one.

“My lady, do you maybe know where this family lives?” Sanji inquires the old woman, pulling a small roll of paper from his clothes with a hand that isn’t occupied by the woman’s hold. She hums in thought when looking at the list of names before pointing to a particular one with her bony finger.

“She lives fairly close to me, Your Highness! My grandchildren will show you the way”

The kids beam eagerly when they realize they can be of help for a royal family member. Sanji smiles at the woman thankfully and hides the list inside his clothes again.

After a few more minutes they reach the old lady’s house and the youngest girl from the group takes Sanji’s hand before pulling him with herself. The prince has to hunch down a little or else it wouldn’t be comfortable for the little girl and he treats women of every age like ladies. Zoro only rolls his eyes at the back, his frustration growing.

“Can I be a princess too?” the little girl asks innocently, big round eyes staring at Sanji intensively. An older kid nudges her gently and scolds her in a whisper for not addressing the prince properly. When Sanji notices the small girl’s eyes getting teary he hoists her up and carries on his arm instead. Some people they pass gossip between each other but most of the villagers cheer for the sweet gesture.

“Of course. What are you a princess of?” Sanji asks the girl softly, zeroing in on her completely. If there’s one thing Sanji is really good at, it’s talking to children. They tend to love him too, with the way the little self-proclaimed princess’s eyes sparkle serving as proof.

“I don’t know...” she mumbles with her lips pursed. Another kid points at a house around the corner and tells Sanji that it’s the one he’s looking for. The prince puts the girl on the ground carefully before patting his chest with a flat palm.

“How about being the princess of my heart?” he jokes and the girl laughs brightly, with a pinch of shyness. Zoro groans soundly at the cheesiness, attracting attention from the older children. Sanji turns a deaf ear on that though and pats the girl’s head before she runs away giggling with her siblings.

“What was she, four?” Zoro crosses arms on his chest, glad that this part of the town isn’t as busy so there are not many curious eyes following them around and he can loosen up a bit. Sanji glances at him with his chin up.

“All women deserve respect” he recites the words Zoro knows by heart already.

“As you think, Your Highness” the guard nods his head with an ironic smirk and Sanji focuses on anything else than the urge to hit the green-haired man. Instead, he pulls out his list once more and takes cautious steps towards the right house. Having taken a deep breath, he knocks on the door twice before peeking back at Zoro. He’s busy patting Sanji’s mare on the neck, looking like he pays no mind but the prince knows him well enough to notice the tension on his shoulders.

“Yes?” a woman in her forties opens the door and gasps behind her hand when noticing Sanji. He whips his head around quickly to look at her and take in her appearance – black hair, brown eyes, tan skin. His smile gets tight but he still nods his head at her like a real gentleman. “Your Highness, I’m so sorry!”

“Please, it’s not necessary” Sanji raises his hand up when the woman bows deeply in apology. Zoro cocks an eyebrow when the prince turns to him shortly. “Keep an eye on the horses”

“What- I’m coming with you” the guard opposes immediately and walks to a nearby tree, reins ready to be tied to the trunk but Sanji stops him with a rise in his voice.

“ _No_. Stay here. I will be alright”

Zoro can only watch as Sanji disappears inside the house, the door closed behind him. The already overwhelming mix of emotions becomes even more complicated when Zoro finds out he is simply mad that Sanji left him behind. Not only did the prince step all over Zoro’s royal guard pride, but he also showed he doesn’t trust him enough to let him follow. And this hurts Zoro’s pride as a person that he thought was closest to Sanji.

The royal guard is used to waiting in peace, but this time he can’t stay still for longer than ten seconds. He walks in circles when reprimanding himself mentally for not keeping his calm as usual. He even contemplates walking up to the door to try and listen for any signs of danger but talks himself out of it. If Sanji found out he was eavesdropping, he would lose the last remains of his trust.

Sanji leaves the house when Zoro is sitting somewhat calmly against a tree trunk, safe for his hands pulling out grass from the ground repeatedly. He catches a glimpse of the woman pointing at something for the prince before she bows and disappears in the building. Zoro is by his side in a flash, not hiding his grumpy mood.

“I could have entered with you”

“It’s… Intimate information. I will do it on my own” Sanji’s gaze is blank when they move in the direction the woman showed him earlier.

“If it’s about that, I can tune myself out of it. It’s not my business, but your safety is and I would feel-”

“It’s fine. Just wait outside”

Zoro’s whole body trembles with agitation. He hates it when Sanji doesn’t let him do his job, especially when he visits one house after the other and Zoro can only wait. There’s no telling when it comes to villagers – some of them adore Sanji and the rest of the royal family, and some would impale him on a stick in the middle of a town square just because. That’s why Zoro got assigned as a personal guard and that’s why it’s driving him insane that he doesn’t know what’s happening behind the closed door.

Any type of questions asked his way, Sanji just waves his hand dismissively and greets another person at their house. It’s usually women, Zoro notes, mostly in their forties. At the sight of ones Sanji’s whole posture tenses while with the others he seems to deflate as soon as the door opens. The green-haired man can’t pick up what kind of correlation stands behind this behavior. And he’s not meant to find out any soon with the way Sanji refuses to talk.

“Thank you for the visit, Your Highness” another woman bows her head at the prince before she gets back inside. Zoro watches Sanji’s shoulders drop down as he exhales heavily. They visited over twenty houses and both of them grew more and more anxious with every next one.

“It was the last one...” Sanji’s voice is emotionless and tired as he crosses out the last name from the list. Zoro’s eyebrows furrow but his chest gets noticeably lighter when hearing those words.

“Are we heading to the palace, Your Highness?” the guard hands him the reins, speaking in a gentle voice. This whole trip to the town seems to take a toll on Sanji, what with his shaking hands and worrying lip between his teeth.

“Yes. Let’s go”

Their ride back is silent and uneventful. Sanji sometimes raises his hand in a greeting manner when someone waves at him but most often than not he just stares into the distance with an unreadable expression. By now Zoro understood that they weren’t there for anything related to population censuses unless Sanji was this empathetic that he got all worked up over his people’s family situation. No, Zoro knows it was something more personal and dealt with Sanji directly but the main question of what it was still remains unanswered.

There’s a part of Zoro that tries to rationalize the fact that Sanji lied to him, telling him that it was the king that sent him to town. But a stronger, bigger part of Zoro feels hurt, as simple as it gets. He’s disappointed in himself for two things; not being adamant enough to step into every house at the prince’s heels and keep him safe. And the other thing being untrustworthy to the point that Sanji kept to himself yet again. Whenever Zoro thinks they are coming one step closer, either of them takes two steps back. And it’s bothering him more than he wishes.

Sanji doesn’t say a word even when they reach the stable and he gets down his horse. He’s silent when they walk into the palace and the servants greet him. There’s nothing when they reach the bedroom and Sanji stops in the threshold. If it wasn’t for his sixth sense, Zoro would have bumped into the prince.

“I want to stay alone for the night. Sorry”

And like that Sanji closes the door in Zoro’s face, keeping him out yet again this day. And Zoro feels… empty. After the whole day of overwhelming emotions he suddenly feels like an empty shell. He takes his place at the side of the door nonetheless and presses the back of his head against the wall behind him. It’s obvious to him that he will spend the whole night trying to analyse the day’s events when in reality he just wishes he could hold Sanji’s hand again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, aren't they complicated? ~~i love my boys being complicated idiots what can i say~~ i'm really happy to hear your feedback, your comments always make my day ;u; on the side note, i created a twitter account so if you want to hang out, feel free to follow me [@ficnicks](https://twitter.com/ficnicks), sadly, i still don't know many people in the op fandom ;;u;;


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